Monday, November 12, 2012

A lot to be thankful for

I know.. I should be sleeping when she sleeps... unfortunately I still on meds for the rash, and the side effect for those meds is hyper/ sleeplessness. Awesome I know. Oh well it is better than having a full body rash.

These days I dont check FB or Pintrest until late at night so I have something to read and I have enjoyed all of the I am thankful for posts. I couldn't do it on a regular basis, but I figured I could blog about the big things I am thankful for right now.

1. God and my relationship with him. I am still working to accept the grace that God gives and realizing that he is in control. This is reiterated every day when I look at Julianna.

2. My amazing rockstar of a McDreamy husband. WOW! I didn't have any expectations for him as a dad, weird I know, but I wasn't quite sure how he would react. All I can say is any expectations have been completely blown away. He was so on top of it at the hospital and has continued to be the ready and willing to do whatever to help these past 18 days. I really am so blessed to have such a great partner and father for our baby girl.

3. My in-laws. I knew 12 years ago that Kelly was apart of a great Godly family and I always felt blessed to be a part of it, but after this I am just in awe of how supportive they are. When  my friend Allison had her son she told me how great her stepmom was, she was one of those people who really was there to help Allison. That is what I got with Bobby and Julie. Yes they wanted their baby fix too, but it really was about trying to help Kelly and I in anyway they could. They went grocery shopping for us, helped with laundry and took shifts with Julianna so Kelly & I could get some sleep.
Julie has been back since she was born and every time it is the same. She sets her alarm and wakes up right after I feed her takes her from me and sends me to bed. So blessed to have them as grandparents for Julianna.

4. My dad & Debbie- They constantly check on me, and really have been so conscious about my wishes for Julianna and trying to to be "to much" which if any of you know my dad, he and I have pretty big personalities.. so he has had to work really hard not to come by and call constantly. Debbie is such a great cook and really wanted to help make our lives easier, so much to Kelly and I's delight she has sent us several yummy meals. I am thankful that they really respected my feelings, I know it hasn't been easy containing the excitement.They have also been watching Callaway for us. I know this is CRAZY that I sent him away, but I did.  Since we were in the hospital for 5 days they just kept him through the weekend.. and then that turned in to another week. So I am very thankful for them watching Callaway and spoiling him. Now Prayers for an easy transition between Julianna and Callaway!
5. Friends- I have some great friends! We have had some great meals, which says a lot about my sweet friends that went above and beyond to make veggie friendly foods. They also know how overwhelming being a new mom can be and are SO respectful, "We won't stay long, What time works best for you, We don't even have to come in."
My sweet friend Tammy sent me such an encouraging note that really helped me feel like all of my emotions are validated. She also volunteered to do laundry which ranks her above rockstar status in my book!!
I have also been blessed with constant texts checking on me and J and asking if there is anything we need. God has blessed us with a great support system and I am so thankful for all of my sweet friends!

6. My job- yes I am on maternity leave and thinking about my job. I work for a great company with great leaders. I enjoy my team and all the support that they have given me throughout everything.

7. Zantac- This week was a whole new experience. Julianna started getting really fussy after every feeding and even to the point of full on crying complete with this loud screams. It was like she was being stuck with a pin or something. After two nights of this I told Kelly we had to go to the Dr. I didn't feel like this was normal. Thankfully the Dr confirmed that something was in fact wrong and Julianna has been diagnosed with reflux. We got her some Zantac and now have some helpful tips on dealing with it, but she still screams out in pain ever so often which I am not sure is just something we will have for a while, but I think I am going to call the DR.  again in the am.



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

love at first sight

Julianna Mae Carlson
Monday, October 22, 2012 10:25am
6lbs 14oz

God is so Good! Monday, October 22 at 10:25am we welcomed Julianna Mae Carlson in to our family. I am not going to lie... it is completely surreal and unbelievable how fast things can change.

As I had posted earlier, I was dilated to a 3-4 on the 38 week check up. I tried to take it as easy as possible for the remainder of the weekend. I think I am the anomaly of pregnant women. I wanted her to stay in there as long as possible. Yes I was crazy uncomfortable, but I wanted her to be as healthy and chubby as possible! So all weekend I would experience what I think were contractions. None of them were horrible and they were not consistent, but by Monday morning, we were headed to the hospital.

Due to Sweet baby J's positioning she was a prime candidate for a C-Section. For those of you that know my husband, you know he hates all things hospital and really hates ALL things with blood or needles. Kelly was a nervous wreak sitting with me in the pre-op room waiting for an OR. By this time most of the family was out in the waiting room and very very anxious.

They had to take me in to the operating room and get me prepped before Kelly could come in. Again, this whole thing was completely surreal. The entire time I just kept praying for the Lord to protect Julianna and bring her in to the world without complications. They let Kelly sit at a stool right by my head and talk to me. I don't really remember what all he said, but I think at one point I had to tell him to stop making me laugh.

Next there was a whole lot of pulling and tugging and some serious pressure with the reward of Amanda leaning over the curtain to reassure me that it was still a girl. I know it sounds silly, but I was still a little concerned she would grow parts.
All puffy and cute after getting cleaned up

After I heard that sweet wail I felt such a wave of relief wash over me. Kelly squeezed my had and a said, "I'm going to go be with her now if that's ok." I can't tell you why but man, that only makes me love him more... It was like, I still love you and you are my number one priority, but I am now a dad and going to take care of our baby girl. I am probably reading in to this completely, and could blame it all on hormones, but I like my analysis and I am going with it.

After they sewed me up I had to get monitored for 30 minutes to make sure that I didn't have any reaction to the meds. All the while Kelly was in the nursery with her getting the APGAR test and cutting an umbilical cord.

I got back to the room and shortly after Kelly and Julianna came in. Immediately they brought in the lactation consultant and we tried breast feeding. I had really wanted to breast feed, but in true Team Carlson fashion, I tired to keep my expectations reasonable and just prayed that I would be able to. Thankfully, Julianna was cool with the whole process. With that being said, WOW breast feeding is hard work. I am so so blessed to have a great group of friends and family though that have been through it and were able to answer a lot of my questions of, "is this normal?!"

Monday night I could not sleep. I was soooooo itchy. I got up in the middle of the night and just scratched. Probably not the best idea because I woke up Tuesday with a full blown rash. The rash covered from one side of my tummy to the other, creeping up to just under my chest and creeping down ALL the way to my upper thigh. Turns out I am allergic to the Betadine, oh and if that wasn't enough.. I am allergic to the tape too. So after a couple different meds and some picture text to the specialists I am slowly getting my skin back to normal.

We got to go  home Thursday night, which of course caused a whole new wave of emotion. I know it was mostly the hormones, but getting my stuff together on Thursday morning spurred a small crying bout on my part and a new set of fears. I wish I could just stay in the hospital for the first few weeks, having all the nurses and help available to answer questions and provide advice. But alas we were kicked to the curb and told to go be parents.

So we put on our big kid panties and dressed Julianna in a beautiful going home outfit and drove about 65mph to get home safe and sound. 

Look how cute Kelly is and look how cute Julianna is in her bloomers... she will have to grow in to these!
It seems like since I have gotten home all I do is pray. I pray all the time for God to help me to be a better person, and stronger Christian, a better wife and a strong Christian Mother that can be a good example.
I constantly pray that God will protect her and help me to have the faith to know that whatever is God's will is better than anything I have planned for her own life.
Now... to try to get some sleep.