Monday, November 12, 2012

A lot to be thankful for

I know.. I should be sleeping when she sleeps... unfortunately I still on meds for the rash, and the side effect for those meds is hyper/ sleeplessness. Awesome I know. Oh well it is better than having a full body rash.

These days I dont check FB or Pintrest until late at night so I have something to read and I have enjoyed all of the I am thankful for posts. I couldn't do it on a regular basis, but I figured I could blog about the big things I am thankful for right now.

1. God and my relationship with him. I am still working to accept the grace that God gives and realizing that he is in control. This is reiterated every day when I look at Julianna.

2. My amazing rockstar of a McDreamy husband. WOW! I didn't have any expectations for him as a dad, weird I know, but I wasn't quite sure how he would react. All I can say is any expectations have been completely blown away. He was so on top of it at the hospital and has continued to be the ready and willing to do whatever to help these past 18 days. I really am so blessed to have such a great partner and father for our baby girl.

3. My in-laws. I knew 12 years ago that Kelly was apart of a great Godly family and I always felt blessed to be a part of it, but after this I am just in awe of how supportive they are. When  my friend Allison had her son she told me how great her stepmom was, she was one of those people who really was there to help Allison. That is what I got with Bobby and Julie. Yes they wanted their baby fix too, but it really was about trying to help Kelly and I in anyway they could. They went grocery shopping for us, helped with laundry and took shifts with Julianna so Kelly & I could get some sleep.
Julie has been back since she was born and every time it is the same. She sets her alarm and wakes up right after I feed her takes her from me and sends me to bed. So blessed to have them as grandparents for Julianna.

4. My dad & Debbie- They constantly check on me, and really have been so conscious about my wishes for Julianna and trying to to be "to much" which if any of you know my dad, he and I have pretty big personalities.. so he has had to work really hard not to come by and call constantly. Debbie is such a great cook and really wanted to help make our lives easier, so much to Kelly and I's delight she has sent us several yummy meals. I am thankful that they really respected my feelings, I know it hasn't been easy containing the excitement.They have also been watching Callaway for us. I know this is CRAZY that I sent him away, but I did.  Since we were in the hospital for 5 days they just kept him through the weekend.. and then that turned in to another week. So I am very thankful for them watching Callaway and spoiling him. Now Prayers for an easy transition between Julianna and Callaway!
5. Friends- I have some great friends! We have had some great meals, which says a lot about my sweet friends that went above and beyond to make veggie friendly foods. They also know how overwhelming being a new mom can be and are SO respectful, "We won't stay long, What time works best for you, We don't even have to come in."
My sweet friend Tammy sent me such an encouraging note that really helped me feel like all of my emotions are validated. She also volunteered to do laundry which ranks her above rockstar status in my book!!
I have also been blessed with constant texts checking on me and J and asking if there is anything we need. God has blessed us with a great support system and I am so thankful for all of my sweet friends!

6. My job- yes I am on maternity leave and thinking about my job. I work for a great company with great leaders. I enjoy my team and all the support that they have given me throughout everything.

7. Zantac- This week was a whole new experience. Julianna started getting really fussy after every feeding and even to the point of full on crying complete with this loud screams. It was like she was being stuck with a pin or something. After two nights of this I told Kelly we had to go to the Dr. I didn't feel like this was normal. Thankfully the Dr confirmed that something was in fact wrong and Julianna has been diagnosed with reflux. We got her some Zantac and now have some helpful tips on dealing with it, but she still screams out in pain ever so often which I am not sure is just something we will have for a while, but I think I am going to call the DR.  again in the am.



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

love at first sight

Julianna Mae Carlson
Monday, October 22, 2012 10:25am
6lbs 14oz

God is so Good! Monday, October 22 at 10:25am we welcomed Julianna Mae Carlson in to our family. I am not going to lie... it is completely surreal and unbelievable how fast things can change.

As I had posted earlier, I was dilated to a 3-4 on the 38 week check up. I tried to take it as easy as possible for the remainder of the weekend. I think I am the anomaly of pregnant women. I wanted her to stay in there as long as possible. Yes I was crazy uncomfortable, but I wanted her to be as healthy and chubby as possible! So all weekend I would experience what I think were contractions. None of them were horrible and they were not consistent, but by Monday morning, we were headed to the hospital.

Due to Sweet baby J's positioning she was a prime candidate for a C-Section. For those of you that know my husband, you know he hates all things hospital and really hates ALL things with blood or needles. Kelly was a nervous wreak sitting with me in the pre-op room waiting for an OR. By this time most of the family was out in the waiting room and very very anxious.

They had to take me in to the operating room and get me prepped before Kelly could come in. Again, this whole thing was completely surreal. The entire time I just kept praying for the Lord to protect Julianna and bring her in to the world without complications. They let Kelly sit at a stool right by my head and talk to me. I don't really remember what all he said, but I think at one point I had to tell him to stop making me laugh.

Next there was a whole lot of pulling and tugging and some serious pressure with the reward of Amanda leaning over the curtain to reassure me that it was still a girl. I know it sounds silly, but I was still a little concerned she would grow parts.
All puffy and cute after getting cleaned up

After I heard that sweet wail I felt such a wave of relief wash over me. Kelly squeezed my had and a said, "I'm going to go be with her now if that's ok." I can't tell you why but man, that only makes me love him more... It was like, I still love you and you are my number one priority, but I am now a dad and going to take care of our baby girl. I am probably reading in to this completely, and could blame it all on hormones, but I like my analysis and I am going with it.

After they sewed me up I had to get monitored for 30 minutes to make sure that I didn't have any reaction to the meds. All the while Kelly was in the nursery with her getting the APGAR test and cutting an umbilical cord.

I got back to the room and shortly after Kelly and Julianna came in. Immediately they brought in the lactation consultant and we tried breast feeding. I had really wanted to breast feed, but in true Team Carlson fashion, I tired to keep my expectations reasonable and just prayed that I would be able to. Thankfully, Julianna was cool with the whole process. With that being said, WOW breast feeding is hard work. I am so so blessed to have a great group of friends and family though that have been through it and were able to answer a lot of my questions of, "is this normal?!"

Monday night I could not sleep. I was soooooo itchy. I got up in the middle of the night and just scratched. Probably not the best idea because I woke up Tuesday with a full blown rash. The rash covered from one side of my tummy to the other, creeping up to just under my chest and creeping down ALL the way to my upper thigh. Turns out I am allergic to the Betadine, oh and if that wasn't enough.. I am allergic to the tape too. So after a couple different meds and some picture text to the specialists I am slowly getting my skin back to normal.

We got to go  home Thursday night, which of course caused a whole new wave of emotion. I know it was mostly the hormones, but getting my stuff together on Thursday morning spurred a small crying bout on my part and a new set of fears. I wish I could just stay in the hospital for the first few weeks, having all the nurses and help available to answer questions and provide advice. But alas we were kicked to the curb and told to go be parents.

So we put on our big kid panties and dressed Julianna in a beautiful going home outfit and drove about 65mph to get home safe and sound. 

Look how cute Kelly is and look how cute Julianna is in her bloomers... she will have to grow in to these!
It seems like since I have gotten home all I do is pray. I pray all the time for God to help me to be a better person, and stronger Christian, a better wife and a strong Christian Mother that can be a good example.
I constantly pray that God will protect her and help me to have the faith to know that whatever is God's will is better than anything I have planned for her own life.
Now... to try to get some sleep.



Thursday, October 18, 2012

baby watch 2012... and other updates

We went to the Dr. yesterday for our 38 week check up yesterday... Not the news I wanted, but I am really working on leaving it in God's hands and not worry.
First off let me tell you about the awesomeness that is my life. For thjose of you that know me, know that I am going to tell you my true stories.. For those of you that have had the pleasure of being prego, you know you have to bring a nice little sample of urine with you to your check up. Well a few weeks ago I had a close call and my pee leaked thankfully it was in a bag and was saved before it was all gone. I was annoyed becuase I am super careful.
So yesterday I check the lid really well to make sure and even put a piece of cardboard to hold the pee stable... yep... A pee problem as in none.. Some how it got knocked over and this time there was NONE left. I was super embarassed and when Kelly picked me up the first thing he asked, "where is your pee?"
me- "it spilled"
Kelly- "that is SO gross Cortney, how does that happen?"
me- "babe I don't know, but I swear they changed the lids!!!"

FACT- when I told the nurse I spilled my pee- again- I told her I think they went to a lesser quality lid. She laughed and said, actually they did. HA VINDICATION!!! Please don't judge me and my pee.

Back to my update.. Well looks like I have dialated and effaced more, which could mean baby J could make her apperance at anytime in the next few days. Linz measured me to see where I was and made the comment that I have a small baby. This of course freaked Kelly out. One of the many things I love about Lindz is that she could tell Kelly was nervous so they sent us in for an Ultrasound just to measure her and make sure she was a good size. Well she is only about 6lbs right now. Which means 2 things in the Carlson house... I will be working from home for the next week or so in hopes to take it easy and that we have now increased my food intake in hopes that I will add some weight on her? Not sure if this is a proven method, but hey I will try it!

In the event to be productive from the couch.. I did find this blog Delightful Mom It talks about praying for your unborn baby and then tips for when they get here! It is based off of Baby Wise, so if you think BW is to strict then you probably wont agree with her and her schedules, but for me I really like how she breaks it down.
Tuesday Night our church had the small group get together for young wives. They do this every other month and I use to go regularlly, but when I get involved in Komen they always fell on the same night. I wasn't going to go on Tuesday due to the fact that I was supposed to be taking it easy but it was really on my heart to go and since it was pj night and breakfast for dinner that sealed the deal.

It was so good and I know the Holy Spirit was leading me there to learn from some amazing women. We talked about the book Whats it like to be married to me.

When I think about that it really makes me stop to wonder. On one hand Kelly is lucky to have an ADHD wife that can't sit still and has to have everything done, but at the same time, I have high expectations and get annoyed when he just wants to relax. We also talked about the negative words that come out of our mouth and how much we complain.

You know when you see something you like or want you then begin to see it everywhere?Well when someone brings it to your attention about complaining you REALLY realize how much you do it. I mean think about it, how many times did you say, "I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm cold.." I know these are technically statments, but come on.. lets be honest, we start with the I am tired and then launch in to a story about how bad things are. I say all of this becuase I am totally guilty of this.

I feel so blessed to have such a great group at church. I am amazed by thoughtful and caring some people are. I feel like sometimes I go through like with blinders on only thinking about what is going on with me.. and I am so blessed to have some great friends and mentors to help me remember that I am bless and God's plan is always better than my own.

This came at such a perfect time too. I want to be a rockstar mom to Julianna and I know that my actions will be what Julianna sees. So I will be working really hard to keep my attitude positive and make sure I have Christ like actions not only for Julianna, but so that I can be a better wife to Paul Rudd Kelly. I got a comment again this week that Kelly looks like PR. Had to throw it in to lighten the mood after all the soul searching!


Politics- So here is the deal.. I like most people are annoyed with this whole mess. I was reading an article about how the majority of undecided voters the canidates are trying to reach is the women voter. Personal opinion-Women voters are informed yes, but I also think females in general have a personal attachment to who they vote for and the interupting, snide remarks and outright bashing either canidate leaves a bad taste. I know I have a canidate in mind, but I also know that it frustrates me to watch the debates as they go back and forth...

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly, somewhat aghast, told viewers, “I personally found it ironic that they spent so much time trying to win over the women voters, and one thing women voters don’t like is a bully, and these two men were in each other’s face s… I think a lot of women will react negatively to that.”

Ok I am done..

On a BRIGHTER note...My fabulous friend Jessica had her baby! Welcome Maddox!
Photo: Introducing Maddox Helms Young.  We were blessed with a 10lb 13 oz precious baby boy yesterday afternoon!! Could not be happier.
Jessica was originally due on the 28th of October. She had him yesterday almost ten days early and he was 10 lbs... TEN POUNDS!!! Lets all take a minute and appreciate Jessica... and her lady parts for having a 10 pound baby naturally.


Saturday, October 13, 2012

random ramblings of a bedrest brunette....

Ok... so I am not completely on bed rest, but with the news of our premature dilation that cute, extremist of a drill Sargent I call my husband has gone OVER BOARD with me not doing anything.

Since we don't have cable and only have 5 local stations.. and over the weekend see to have lost 2 of them I limited on things. I have never really cared about tv, but when I am restricted to the couch I need something to do.

Yes we have netflix, but lets be honest here..since they "split" the live streaming netflix selection is completely lacking.. I mean on my "New Release" suggestions it said Mission Impossible 2... SERIOUSLY?
Normally I would read.. but I have picked up 3 books since Wednesday and NONE of them are pulling me in.
I have found something to occupy the time, but it is very dangerous and I am trying to avoid it all cost- on-line shopping. I have proactively bought baby gifts for most of expecting friends all the way through February! I buy for others so I will limit my shopping for baby J.
I did take inventory and I have decided she needs only 2 things right now... bows and leg warmers!
I will say that my sweet husband has been AHmazing through out this whole process and I feel so blessed to have married my best friend. I am sure I am testing his patience through all of this.. I know I am snappy and stressed out right now and probably not the best company.  I am constantly repeating that God is in control and that he has a plan that is much greater than what I have in mind and I just need to stop worrying.

So I moved on to my wish list... Kelly & I are Dave Ramsey and here lately my shopping fund has been transferred to J. I know that this may be the story of my life from this point forward, but that is what Christmas and Birthday's are for right?  So with all of my free time I have created a list of items I want.... Without offending all 44 of my followers I will throw it out there that I am not a huge push present person.. nor am I the girl who tells there husband jewelry is always a good gift. I just don't care. Now, a hybrid bike.. that is a whole different story!

Want list...

Uggs- with my impending maternity leave bring over the winter I felt these were justified. I felt even more validated with the fact that J herself will be sporting some...
UGG - Bailey Button

Red Jeans-
Once I have an actual waist again of course.

Next up...
James Bond

I have a small obsession for all things James Bond... call me a sucker for a spy. I can't lie I also love everyone of the Mission Impossibles and Jason Bourne movies. But since this has been released I have added it to the wish list. I said.. no push present, I mean tp me it all comes out of the same place and I get a little sick thinking of any large sum of money leaving the account. NOW...I may be ok if this showed up on my door step after labor...

Probably not though...

Also on my list.. James Avery charms.

One from when we went to Italy & one for baby J.

Which it is almost at the year mark since our trip.. This is crazy to me that it has been a year and does make me miss Italy. Maybe this year for Thanksgiving we will have a Margarita pizza just to reminisce.

But enough about my wish list.

I have been blessed with a great pregnancy and have not hated life like so many people I know did.  So many of my friends and family had morning sickness along with aches and pains, I was blessed to have very little of these. With that being said, there are several things I am looking forward to once she gets here.

1. My Waist and getting it back.. although I am sure it will be a pain.
2. Running- I miss being able to go out for a run. We have had some beautiful fall days that have been calling my Garmin's name.
3. Diet Coke I have not had one since March 2nd when we found out and I kind of miss it.
4. Being able to breathe. She has been all up in my rib cage for the past couple of weeks and it takes some effort to get comfy.
5. I am SO very excited to see the look on Kelly's face when she gets here. He has been great through out but awesome these past couple of weeks and I can't wait to see how smitten he is with her.
6. I also can't wait to see how everyone else is with her.. like Kurt my BIL. Anytime something comes up about pregnancy you can hear a little bit of worry or concern in his voice when he asks if everything is ok. Kaylee my SIL has already planned for Fashion Friday's since she has so many clothes, which means she may have her very own blog post day with all the outfits. My dad- I have seen the excitement when he sees other peoples children and I know how he and Debbie spoil my dog, so no telling what will happen when she gets here.
7. HALLOWEEN and all the other holidays, but the whole costume is very exciting.

Random post I know... you try being in the house most of the day and counting down the days until your due date! Technically 18 days left... but we are taking bets that she will be here before then.


Friday, October 5, 2012

4 weeks to early... any advice?

What- 2 posts in one week! what in the world has gotten in to me you may ask? Well, we went to our 36 week check up on Wednesday and got the news that Princess Julianna would like to enter this world on her own terms... EARLY!

This news does not make her mama happy. In fact it stresses her.

Let me back up. Through out this pregnancy I have been pretty active. Even on Sunday Allison and I went for a 4 mile walk. I take the stairs up and down to the 3rd floor at work and I try really hard to park far away from the building... Turns out you can be to active during pregnancy.

Our Dr was pretty surprised to tell us that we have already dilated to a 2 and were at 70% effaced.
I was floored. Don't get me wrong it has always been a worry in the back of my mind that she may try to make her appearance early, but I was really hoping that she would make it at least to the 37 mark.

Poor Kelly is just sitting in the chair listening and not really comprehending what the implications of that really are. When he does finally speak he asks if that is normal?
NOPE! I still have 4 weeks that lil miss should be just developing and not trying to make her entrance early.

So Linz put me on some serious restrictions. No walking, not working out, come home and put your feet up..I know this sounds like such a great treat... but to me it really isn't. There are so many things I still need to do!

Install Car seat
Pack hospital bag
Clean up all the items from the shower and find a place for them!
Clean out a kitchen cabinet for bottles and baby items
Finish a couple of my outstanding sewing projects
Make and freeze some meals for when I am to tired to cook
Get a hair cut!
Kelly has some yard projects left
I think I could keep going, but I better stop before I get overwhelmed!

I think it set in on our drive home.. just how real this whole thing was. Kelly was so quiet.
The minute we got home he banished me to the couch. Have I mentioned how much I hate to sit still. HATE it. I hate going to the movie theatre because sitting in the theater for 2-3 hours kills me.  So you can only imagine HOW HARD this is on me.

Kelly went straight in to protector mode and questioned every time I got up to go to the bathroom. Which I am so thankful for, but I hate that I have to ask him to do silly things like get me my water, can you hand me this, could you move that. I even tried to sneak in some laundry while I was up on a bathroom break.. It didn't work I got caught. He even taunted me a little as he was unloading the dishwasher.

Kelly- "This is killing you isn't it"
Me- " Yes it really is"
Kelly- Laughing " Never again will you have to wonder why I don't do some of these things."
Me- " AH I know.. it is because I would go crazy if I didn't have things to do."

So since I am confined to the couch.. and searching for things to occupy my time..

Do any of you moms have recommendations for my what to take in the hospital bag?

What about any good book recommendations?

Also, if you could keep us in your prayers we would appreciate it!


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

showered with love!

Nothing like a baby shower to make a girl feel blessed!
Julianna is one blessed baby.
Before I left Walmart my super sweet boss put together a shower with everyone from Walmart. It was so great. Baby showers are much more fun than wedding showers.
Regardless of what the occasion is, I don't love opening presents in front of people. No matter how excited I am about the gift I always worry about my reaction. I always worry that I don't convey the excitement.
Next up was a get together in Little Rock with my fabulous Harding girls.
Emily, Sara, Hannah and Sara.
The four of us just hung out and it was very low key, followed by a great dinner. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures from either of these showers.

Next up is bentonville shower with Allison, Alexis, Kaylee, Kristy and Megan.
It was perfect!

They had these precious wishes for baby card for everyone to fill out.
They also had everyone address their own thank you card which was so very helpful in thank you note writing!

Candy table for quests as a thank you for coming.

The food was amazing!


Dad and Debbie got us a jogging stroller!

Kelly's Nana, Debbie and my Sassy Grandma


my sassy grandma.. man I love her!

Brenda was the official gift giver

Emily got her a sweater while she was in Peru!
Jess got her the cutest Polo outfits!

They requested books instead of cards.. I LOVED this idea and think I will use it going forward. I hate spending 3-5 dollars on a card that will go in the trash. So why not spend a little more, write on the book and let it serve as the card?


Julie & Bobby got her a very cute A&M outfit

Not everyone loved the A&M.. but they did love the Razorback outfit from the Duncan family!

Kelly's other Aunt and Uncle Duncan along with his Nana & Grandaddy got Julianna her big girl car seat! We got it the same color as the travel system.. Red so it was pretty gender neutral in the event J is not an only child.

Nana & Grandaddy also got her a precious pink Bible


The hostesses got us the highchair that has 4 different stages so J will be able to use it all the way up to toddler age.

My beautiful Hostesses!
Allison, Kaylee, Megan and Alexis.. Kristy was out saving and was missed.

Yes... that is all from the shower.
 Next up was my fabulous friends we go to church with!
I felt SO very blessed with such a wonderful church family.

 Abby made the cupcakes and they were filled with some frosting goodness... I could have eaten all of them!
Amanda was my official gift writer.
Between her and Shannon my stomach hurt from laughing so much!

Because every baby girl needs a little juicy couture..

and what baby girl can handle a winter with out her own pair of Uggs?
No I am not about to cry... I just talk to much and make weird faces!

OH HOW I LOVE gymboree!

Her coming home outfit from JuJu & Pops

crocheted blanket... oh how I wish I new how to crochet

MY BEAUTIFUL Friends got us our travel system!!!
I am SO thankful baby J will be safe and travel in style!
Yep..... that is from the shower... wow.
Last week my new team at Sam's also threw me a shower and since I have gotten almost all of my practical items they had free rein to buy all kinds of fun stuff! including a cupcake blanket that matches her cupcake dress and a PRECIOUS 1st thanksgiving outfit!
I really do feel so blessed to have such great friends and family that shared in our showers! I can not wait for baby J to get here and see how much she is loved!