Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
About 6 months ago our church started this series on the Screwtape Letters (For those of you have never read this book it is about a jr. demon who is try to to convert his "patient" over to the ways of the devil.) One of the main things we covered in the class was spiritual warfare and how easy it is to fall in to the trap. Since this class I have thought about things in a different light.
With that being said, I have been struggling with faith. Not the, "Is there a God," type of faith but more of the having faith in the plan that God has for my life and how I need to keep the faith in him.
In case you missed the memo and don't know me. I am slightly neurotic, annal and borderline OCD on having things the way I think that should be. I plan for my plans. This gives me a sense of comfort even if sometimes it is just a false sense of having the control.
But when my plan to have kids didn't happen exactly how I had planned I can't lie.. it put a chink in that faith.
Thankfully, faith has been put in front of me time after time in the past month. Helping to remind me that the plan that I have is not nearly as good as the plan God has for me.
Sunday our class started a new series... give you one guess what the class is on. Yep, keeping the faith.
I know that the weakness is my stress, I have the horrible problem with fixating on the items that stress me. When we were in Little Rock for the marathon I tired to text BB to see how the dog sitting was going. She didn't answer, so in true stalker style I text 3 more times. Automatically my mind wen straight to the worst thing possible. Kelly kept telling me to let it go, but it was like there was a hold on me and I couldn't get it out of my mind.
I can't tell you how many times I had to take a minute today and just pray. This is a hard process giving up the control, but I am working on keeping the faith and stressing less about the lack of control I have.
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)