technical difficulties

Holy COW.. Love technology, but sometimes it is a royal pain. I have been locked out of my blog for like 2 weeks... I some how created a new blog under my email and for the life of me could not get back to my precious runningcarlson!! Tragic I know, but worry no more I have 1 more password to remember and hopefully I am back on the blogging track!

I won't bore you with a 2 week long recap, but I will give you the highlights.
I had my birthday and thanks to some fabulous family and friends I was blessed with a couple of celebrations and had a fabulous day week.  I will say the highlight of the day was when my wonderful and amazing husband supervised me with the earrings I wanted. He is a keeper.

Juicing-
So last June Kelly and I watched a documentary with his parents and Klee and it caused us to change the way we ate and convert to a vegetarian diet. When people find this out they normally think we are weird and once I was even asked if  I was PETA? So I figured I would give it a try and see how it went, basically agreeing to the facts in the movie and want to have a healthier diet I didn't know if it was something that we would be able to sustain long term. Then came my physical at the gym. When she took my HDL (Good Cholesterol) and the average number for a female is 60... mine was 110. The woman administering my test told me in the 7 years she has been doing the test she has never seen one so high. So to wrap this long story up, is why we are still vegetarians and have now taken on the juicing trend.

Kelly bought this 2 weeks ago on amazon and last week while I was traveling for work it came in. Let me just say this is like his new toy (almost as fun and exciting as his new ipad....almost) I got several pictures of the juice he made in my absence. 

Runs-
In the past couple of weeks I have learned about some FABULOUS runs that are going on!
the color run
At this run they pelt you with dyed cornstarch and at the end of 3.1 miles you look like a rainbow rather than a hard core runner. The KC race sold out in a DAY!!

toughmudder
the tough mudder.. pretty intense 10-12 miles of running paired with 20-25 obstacles designed by military special forces. Not going to lie- I will have to step up my training in order to be able to do this one. I should start by swimming lessons.

Zombie Run
basically you run for your lives while zombies try to catch you and take away your lives (you get a flag football style belt and they basically steal these lives from you) Rumor is there is actually a river of blood.

Vaca-
Currently we are trying to plan our next family vacation. As it stands right now there will be a girls trip in conjunction with the boys annual golfing trip. The location for GW is still up in the air. Kaylee ( how I now call my BB- since she moved here last May it has been perfect, since she is my SIL I am completely allowed to spend extensive amounts of time with her. Which is why we are now Built in Besties or my BB) and I threw out San Fran or maybe San Diego, but that is a long flight that would eat in to some of our long weekend. 

New York was another one we thought of just since neither Julie nor I have ever been.
Any other recommendations out there from bloggers?

Let the Birthday Begin!

Seems like my last post created some buzz.. I want to thank those of you who sent me a note or a text of encouragement. I appreciate it, and while I am thankful to have people like you all in my life I really didn't mean for it to be quite so public. I completely forgot i was still attached to FB and shared my troubles with the whole world. I really meant to just write it for people like me who just can't understand why we can't get pregnant. I am


To tag on to my previous post though, after the 5th negative test i decided I needed to move on from my fixation and focus on things like it was business as usual. Which brings me to 3 favorite things i like to talk about. 1. MY BIRTHDAY and 2. Running 3. Vacation

For those of you that know me you know that i love love love my birthday, and could probably find a couple of posts in years past of my love for the celebration. This year though with how busy I am I am saddened to say I have not been on top of my normal birthday excitement. I blame this love on a couple of things: 1. my parents- they always made it a HUGE deal and when they got divorced i got double celebrations! 2. My friends- I don't know if this was a bentonville thing or not, but it was always a huge deal. All of my friends parents made it a big deal and they even made it a big deal when it wasn't their children. So really this isn't because I think I am fabulous and deserve some big party, but it was just the way it was and now... I love it. My poor poor husband has a lot of pressure on him around this time of year.
And now for my favorite thing to do.. My LIST!
1. toms
I also having been debating on adding the new ballet flats, but I have seen some bad reviews.. Thoughts? Are they as comfy as normal toms?

2. New Bedding!!!
I have been struggling with this one for a WHILE.. at first i was going to sew my own since i couldn't find colors i liked, but it isn't just doesn't make since cost wise. So now i am on the hunt.. I want navy and maybe some yellow or i go with blue's and teals.. i am hoping that I will be inspired by something!

3. Clothes-

what women doesn't want clothes?

I still love BR, and Loft. I also hate that NWA is lacking a Limited or a Nordstrom for that matter!

4. Michael Kors Watch-

Kelly got me one for Christmas and it has now given me the bug and I NEED another!

5. Diamond earrings- I know.. but I can't help but put them on the list

6. A new camera-

I got a Nikon Coolpix a few years ago and I can't lie.. Not a fan. The color is off and it doesn't do well at all with anything that may be moving faster than a turtle.

I am still in the process of research but would welcome recomendations?

Last on the list.... All the Xmen, James Bonds, Mission Impossibles movies--- but this can't be considered a present due to the fact that they will benfit both Carlson's!

working on me...

Blogging- it is what I use to do when I was bored at work... Don't judge me, we know there are 2 main types of dedicated bloggers: stay at home moms and people that are bored at work. Not to discount the outliers that come home and write a riveting blog after a long day at work, but I feel that most fall in to the two buckets listed above.
When I got my new job that all changed. I love my position but from the day I started it has pretty much been a hit the ground running type of role. So between work, my husband being in school for his MBA, volunteering for about 4 things and planning for Italy I gave up trying to fit it in.

When we got back from vacation we decided we would start talking about babies. Which to me the type A planner that meant we would promptly come back from vacation in November and I would be pregnant. I even stopped taking my pill in September to get everything out of my system.Turns out God has his own set of plans.

I even thought about all of the creative and fun ways I would tell my sweet husband, and every month I would have convinced myself we were going to have a baby.  I began to notice all of the other babies every where I went, everyone around me seemed to be expecting. to add more salt to the wound I even got asked to teach a class for the kids at church. Obviously they have no clue that we were trying or in better terms- I was obsessing about have kids and we didn't want it to become public knowledge just yet.

When I evaluate all of the blessings that I have in my life I realize that I am blessed beyond what I deserve and I by no means am I the only one who has had this struggle and mine hasn't been that long, but coupled with the constant worrier that I am I went straight to the worst.
Maybe I can't have kids
Maybe Kelly can't have kids
What if something is wrong with me
What if all of the things that I do has caused to much stress on my body
Am I too old? I am not in my 30's yet, but you hear all these crazy statistics.

My breakdown came in January.  Kelly and I went out for dinner for Valentines day and was we are sitting at the restaurant he looks across the table and says, "are you pregnant yet? I want a baby, I would love to have one right now."  This is big on sooo many levels. for the past 5 years of marriage Kelly has been adamate almost to the point of obnoxious about not wanting kids yet. For him to say something like that it was huge. He was completely unaware of what I had been going through- judge if you will, but I wasn't ready to tell him (nor My fabulous SIL) about what internally I was going through.  
January 26th I was a day late. I had even had a small case of flu like symptoms. I almost could not even focus I was so excited. Then the internal battle began of me trying to calm myself down and then to change the focus of my thoughts. When I woke up the morning of the 27th.. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to take a test. As I waited to proposed 3 minuted for the 2 vs 1 line I prayed for children. I kept thinking it has technically been 3 months- what's the deal?  When the test read one line as opposed to 2 I cried. I sat on the floor and cried. I truly thought I was having a baby and I wasn't mentally prepared for the negative.

I called Kaylee. Kaylee is my SIL and moved here last May after graduation and since that time we have joked that we are built in besties. Neither of us have ever had a sister and this was FABULOUS. I had a built in best Friend a mile away (she rents near our house)  and never had to worry about to much girl time since it was in fact my sister in law. I cried to her and told her how upset I was, and without all of the details she basically told me I put too much pressure on myself and we were no longer talking about babies.
Both of my parents knew about the flu and they were anxiously waiting for the call for me to tell them it wasn't something that would go away for 9 months. My dad called me first thing Friday morning to check on me (this normally happens) but today he got more that he bargained for. I lost it all over again. Bless his heart he wasn't sure what to say other than I love you baby girl and it will be ok.
Next up was my mom. Telling her was harder for the fact that she was so sweet and I just felt so fragile and out of control.

Around lunch time I received an email from Kasey a sweet girl my dad works with. The email consisted of Kasey telling me how she thought I was a Godly woman with all of my stuff together and how great she thought I was. Cue the tears again... I sat in my car and prayed- I prayed to let it go.
I realized after that 3 round of tears that I will have a baby when it is time and when it comes down to it the only thing that I can control is my stress.

For the past month that has been my focus, being the person that I need to be and giving up the "I have control" syndrome. I have started each day with the attitude of: Do the best you can, work through the things that you have control over, and let go of those you can't.

It is by no means easy and I still fixate on things and constantly work to "let it go" but I needed to work on making me the best person I can be with or without children.

You smell like Sunshine...

I know... i know..
It has been a while since I have entered the blogging world. I thought about it a couple of times, but then I also thought how if I started would I be able to continue and keep it up. The jury is still out, but while the deliveration is going on I figure I can do a little catch up.
This weekend has been perfect and helped me to realize how blessed I am.
I got back from Florida on Friday afternoon and met Kelly and Back Nine where I take golf lessons. Kelly played a virtual course while I caught him up on the weeks worth of activites he had missed out on.  The project I have been working on since I started dropped last week and we were there to make sure everyone was on board and understood the process. I also spent a lot of time in a Mazda 3 rental car and in tornado warnings. Besides planning the trip I was also the official dinner coordinator. This cherished honor wasn't bestowed on me until we were actually going to dinner the first night, so I did the only logical thing to think of.. post it on FB. I got a large number of recommendations and love social media for that very reason.
If you are ever in the Orlando area let me suggest- Brio & Crave.
Saturday I had an appointment at Wellquest for a much needed massage. I then decided I should do my workout outside. PS. It is was hot.
Kelly played golf and I ran the standard Saturday errands. I was also fortunate enough to accompany Alexis and Walker on their daily walk. Callaway was my date and seemed to be much harder to pacify than 4 month old Walker. After every inch of the neighborhood had been marked as Callaway territory we headed home for a romantic dinner. Where my hottie husband told me that I smelled good.. "Like Sunshine." I like that. That sounds like a happy smell.
Today was the end of the HOBY conference. If you aren't familiar with HOBY it is a leadership program starting for high school sophomores that helps them also realize that community envolvement is important at any age. My dad is on the board and very involved and called in a favor. They have about 170 students from all over AR and through out the weekend they narrow it down to 10 to finalist. The winner will receive a scholarship and go on the represent the state in the national conference. This was a lot of pressure for this kid... so I called in reinforcements. Who better than my college professor friend, sweet Amanda. Amanda has such as passion for learning and I knew she would be great to help.
It was a great experience and it really made me thankful for everything that I have.

What else is going on?
HUmmm. My sister in law got a JOB.. In NWA. Super pumped..Now I feel like we have more of a shot to get the inlaws here.

I love my new job.. also love the fitness center....and the travel, except that I do miss my boys when I am gone.

Got to go to DC. UM, yep pretty cool city! I can't wait to go back with Kelly and see more of the city!
My boss and I tried to see the White House, Got yelled at by secret service.. no big deal. Took a picture of the Capital may go to jail for that one too. I didn't really obey the NO PHOTO sign.

Race for the cure is getting closer and I am super busy. This week I have a meeting every single day regarding the race. I have recruited a couple of friends which makes my life easier. I wrangled Alisa in and now she has gotten several Paw Partners for the race.

We got a house keeper. This is a HUGE step in the Carlson house. We have gone back and forth on this subject for a while and after about 2 months in the job and Kelly started back to school we realized it was not worth the time, energy or argument so, Katie was hired. I can honestly say that I would probably give up coffee, chocolate, or.. GASP peanut butter if it would keep Katie in our lives!
Kelly laughed at me after the first time she came. I had no clue what to do with myself. I just kept looking for things to do.

Kelly and I have our 5 year wedding anniversary this month. 5 years, I really do feel like it was just a while ago when we got married. This milestone also marks the Italy trip. 6 months from now we will be walking through the streets of Rome! Our Itinerary so far is:
Cinque Terra- 2 nights
Rome- 2 nights
Orvieto
Tuscany- 2 nights
Pisa
Florence
Chianti
Venice- 2 nights
Assisi
Pompeii
Sorrento
Capri-2 nights
Naples

Obviously I am counting down the days.

I love it when you contain me!

I kind of wish with the weather the way that it is we had a holiday coming up! I could you a R & R day!
This week was busy and the weekend was even busier.

My boss was really sick this week so I had the opportunity to work on quite a few things and I even go to lead some meetings. I am involved on several projects, but one in particular that it pretty big and time consuming. This one I have had the most exposure to and and I feel the most comfortable with. So, when she was sick and asked if I could run them I felt pretty confident that I could.

I also took a training class on Wednesday it was for the Birkman Method. I had never heard of this, but apparently it has been a while. They break you in to four colors. Red, Green, Blue, & Yellow. I was a green. Motivated by people, a leader, a direct communicator, and a planner.  Not big surprise here.
They also told me that I get stressed if I get indirect communication.. Which I realized on Friday is very very true. For example: we are implementing a new project. It was supposed to be set up on Thursday in order to  be presented on Friday. Well since no one had to go to work on Thursday (more later) they needed anyone and everyone to come in on  Friday and help set up prior to the presentation. Get there Friday am and they as me and another guy to set up the modular. So I ask. What is it supposed to look like? Well no one had that information. This automatically stressed me. I need to know what you expect me to do and what the expected results we are trying to achieve. If I don't get direct instructions from a defined authority I get stressed and begin to "see the worst" according the the test. Everything turned out fine and we were able to set it (unlike anything I am sure it was supposed to look like) but I guess I don't keep like I am giving 100% until i know exactly what you need from me.

Thursday was a snow and Ice Day. Do you know how excited I was when I got the email from my boss telling me that her first priority was safety and that is why I have a laptop!WAHOO!
I understand that people have jobs that require them to be at work and not everyone has the resources to stay home, but I also think if you have a job that would let you work from home with no hindrance on your job performance... WHY NOT? I loved my old employer, so when I say this know that I truly did like working for the company and they treat their associates very well, but the one thing they were horrible about was that. I just think that if you have a job that will allow you to work from home when the weather is bad you should do it. Why risk it?

Friday was HSC's 30th Birthday! I slaved over a shirt from him and brought it up every 5 minutes until he put the shirt on..

and the back...

Alexis is always a great host even if she has a pumpkin in her belly! We had a wii bowling tournament since it was a Big Lebowski themed party. Ps never seen the movie.. Kelly made it all the way to the semi finals.. Gosh I am so proud of my little slice of heaven! Until........ this is what I woke up to on Saturday morning at 7am.

Nope not a strange child in my bed, but I couldn't find a picture of anything else to show how sprawled out Kelly was. I tried to move him, but it wasn;t happening. It did make me thinks of that new show perfect couples. Have y'all seen it?
We watched it on Thursday and it was pretty funny.
Kelly's favorite line, "I love it when you contain me."

Saturday we were having a game night so I got up and started working on that. I got a new machine for Christmas which is what helped me make the yuppie shirt for HSC & this for game night:

This is a story from our Life Group with church. When kelly & I first got married he always called us Team carlson and whenever I made him mad he would call me team pangle. So we had some trash talkers in our group and I needed to make the sign to prove a point.

When Kelly woke up this is what he wore all day... I am not going to lie it absolutely INFURIATED ME.

If you can't tell what this is it is long johns. For some reason they made me angry. I just feel they are nasty and old man ish and gross. I kept telling him to change, which only led to him wanting to wear them more! This is all I see when I think of long johns..

It kind of makes me skin crawl...

Here are some game night pictures..

My camera is dead.. SO I will upload some more soon..

To BLOG or not to BLOG.. Was that a question??

Hi!
I haven't blogged in so long I had to resend my password! Lets start with what has been happening since Novemeber!
1- I got a new job. My life now consisit of the following things:

AHH the crackberry.. As much as it is painstaking to have you attached to my ear, hip or at the bottom of my giant purse.. you make my life SO much easier.

OH the gantt chart- you are the bane of my existence right now. I will master you sooner rather than later, but at this moment in time you kind of make my want to vomit.

I started the new job the week of Christmas which was a pretty good time to make a change.. a slow time that is perfect for learning.  We went to AZ for Christmas and It was a great time.. I got every single thing on my list! This is always a plus!

My Vera Bradley Computer bag

 My Serger! & my Silhoutte! Please take note of the craft section I have set up!!

Here are some of the things I have made..

Razorback Burp cloths

Razorback taggie blanket

Rag Quilt

LOOVE the way this one turned out!

It was a GIANT pain! Totally worth it, but a pain. You have to cut every singe one of the square.. the instructions say to get spring scissors.. I scoffed at this.. Probably shouldn't have cause my hands were numb for 2 days!!

This is the non rag side

I went and got 3 fat quarter bundles from Hancock fabrics. I love the color combinations. Alexis and HSC don't know what they are having yet so I tried to make it a dual gender quilt.

My sweet friend Amy is due in Feb so this weekend I am going to get more fabric to make baby Bryson one!

I think I am going to start selling them on Etsy. I saw one for 100 bucks.. YO!

LOVE how this apron turned out.

No clue who I will give it to, but I guess this can go in to my etsy pile.

This is next on my list.. I really want to learn to make a tshirt quilt. Oh how I need more time!



Other things.. I know that you all know how OCD I am about my water..
I now have a filtered water dispenser!! I love that I can fill my water bottle up ALL the time!
I also have a cafe. Full of an oatmeal bar, omelet bar. & coffee bar!
So my first week I join the gym.. YEAH! with the 10 degree weather these days we had a small motivation issue when it came to running! Anyway 3 days in to the new job I forgot my badge. UM HUGE NO NO!! it is like the Secret Service when it comes to getting in and if you have no badge you are out of luck. So, I walk up to security and I am like, "HI! my name is cortney & i forgot my badge." Cue my big smile..
CIA- "Do you have your discount card?"
me- "No sir, I don't I haven't gotten it yet. I am new and I just started..(cue big smile again) and I am still trying to get use to everything.."
CIA- "Sorry you have to have that.. What is your name?"
Me-"cortney Carlson"
CIA- "nope. don't see you."
Me- "there is no U in cortney."
CIA- " OK.. I got that."
ME- "oh, well right there you are typing a U in it.."
CIA-" Well i still can't find you, Since I don't see you.. you have to have your manager come get you.
Me- "Sir, it is 715 they don't come in until at least 730.. maybe 8"
CIA-Well I have to have someone vouch for you"
Me- "Sir, I really don't know if there is anyone here..
15-20 MINUTES later.. we find some one that will vouch for me and they let me in!!
So I go to warm up my oatmeal and right as I take it out of the microwave I spill it all over the floor.
FABULOUS! Hi, I am the new clumsy girl!
So I go back to my desk to grab $$ so I can get some food.
I grab some biscuits and gravy and spill the gravy on my shirt.
SERIOUSLY?  This is my day?

Other things--
I got a hair cut. One that requires me to fix my hair now.. SO far we are going ok with it.

Please ignore the clothes on the tub.. That is what I miss soo much is an on site dry cleaning service... anyway it was dry cleaning day so disregard.
Me, My SIL & my MIL all won 3rd in our age group in a 5k on thanksgiving day!

I am trying to get better in the blogging..
Side note-- I got the numbers in on Voyage-- My auction raised about 15k!!
Have a fabulous weekend!!

Take it back... TAKE IT ALL BACK!

So we had our girls weekend and it was So much fun.

We got to KC around 530. Just in time to put the food in the oven. Andrea made her fabulous enchiladas and Carly made some Ah-mazing guacamole. Which we all know how much I heart some guac! We all sat around and talked for most of the night catching up, telling stories and maybe a little bit of gossip! Leah, Kathryn & I were staying in the hotel so we headed home around 1230. We THOUGHT our friends were going to bed too, but turns out they headed out to the bar down the street and stayed up a little to late.

So when Leah and I woke the next morning saw the pictures they posted on FB from the night we figured they were going to be: a. feeling like crap b. really tired or c. all of the above.

So we headed out to shop while they slept it off. We met the 3 sleeping beauties around 11 for brunch at a place called ingredients. I had a wonderful breakfast burrito and 2 LARGE cups of coffee. I also learned that in the time that it takes me to drink 1 regular coffee & 2 large coffees, it takes Leah to drink a small. Andrea appeased me and Kathryn by taking us to Nordstrom's.

That is one thing I will say that I really miss about Dallas. At the time I really didn't shop there all that much, but now I realize what a fabulous store it is and how I WISH we had one.

We also got SUPER crazy and spent a while at Babies R Us for KABB. Andrea made the comment about how much things have changed, we now spend girls weekends at Babies R US!

For dinner Andrea took us to a tapas place and it was really good. I had goat cheese, which I have tried several times and I still have determined that I am not the biggest fan of the goat cheese.

The next morning Andrea took us to the great restaurant where she use to work and I really think that I my weight in Huevos Rancheros. Plus they had this awesome appetizer bar set up for you to eat at while you are waiting for your food. If was alone, I may have licked the plate. The humus was so good!

All in all it was a really fun weekend and I loved spending time with everyone. I am not going to lie though, I was very excited to get home to my sweet hubs and precious pup!




I am on the way out of town and Kelly texts me to remind me... that Joseph A Banks is having a sale.



Well Sunday I am sitting on the couch...

Hubbs- "They are having a shirt sale at JAB."

Me- "Great babe.. is it the SAME sale you mentioned to me on FRIDAY?"

Hubbs- "Yep, did you get a chance to go this weekend?"

Me- "No babe I didn't."

Hubbs-- "UGH whatever I hope you are kidding."



So I sneak in to the bedroom and get my card number and type it in to my phone so he won't see it.

I go and sit on the couch and start online shopping. Well I added all the shirts to my basket and I was ready to purchase but I got distracted.

Well Kelly gets the computer and starts shopping and ends up getting on the JAB site. He then proceeds to check the cart history. He is such a SURPRISE RUINER!



I then decided to go after work on Monday.

Well I get home and I am sneaking to put the bag in the closet and I hear

"HEY, can you help.. What are you doing babe?"

Me- "AGH! did you see?"

Hubbs- "yeah I saw the bag"

Me- "Did you see what was in it?"

Hubbs- "NOPE"



I then proceed to wrap presents..

Hubbs- "Did you just wrap my presents in front of me?"

Me- "Yes I did"

Hubb- "So you just wrapped my shirts in front of me"

Me- YES BABE"

Hubbs- "AHA! So you did get me shirts.'
Seriously?? I am taking them back.. ALL of them. BACK!
 
 
So Kelly is out of town this weekend. I am fine with our little weekends alone, but I feel like we haven't spend quality time in a while.


I am excited to have the WHOLE bed to spread out on, not excited to sleep alone.

I am excited to watch girl movies (which include Fa La La La Lifetime & the Xmen series), but sad I have no one to snuggle with.

I am VERY excited to eat whatever I want for dinner and not have to worry about cooking... Last time I was alone I ate a whole cucumber and rice with salsa. This time I am thinking hot dogs! Don't judge me. I heart hot dogs. Maybe I will get a little crazy and cut up the hot dogs and throw them in some mac and cheese!

I am NOT excited about running my 11 miles alone.