Thursday, June 10, 2010

papa's princess

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.
Proverbs 3:3

I finished my chair last night. Jury is still out.

Yesterday during lunch jlove and I went to Lowe's to get some paint for me and my chair, well the guy in the paint department told me that I had to buy a gallon of it. I seriously didn't need much so I asked if there was any way I could get a smaller quantity? He told me he could change the formula for a smaller container.. Well it looked awful orangy and I wanted to just leave it on the counter and walk away, but he dried it and it seemed to darken up a little bit so I brought it home and hoped for the best.

Well after I applied it Kelly walked out and told me absolutely hated it and walked back in to the house. sad day. I agree is wasn't the cardinal red I was expecting, but I thought I would move it in to the kitchen and see how it looks before I make up my mind.

Kelly had an interview for a new position at the bank yesterday. He didn't talk a lot about it in case he didn't get the position I don't think he wanted anyone to know. So other than the parents not many knew, those who did, thanks for the prayers. Well, they called him in this morning and told him he got the job! YEAH! As of the first of July he will now be a credit analyst II. No clue what that all entails, but he has a pretty cool title!

I made him take a picture in his new suit. We had to get a new one after he tried on the old one. The old one he got right after college 44 coat and 40 waist in pants. This new one.. 41 coat and 35 waist in pants. It made me laugh a little how big the other one was! I also picked out this tie with a little help from Don at Dillards. Don is a cute little grandpa that works in the suit dept, so if you ever go in ask for him he is just precious.

Speaking of Grandpa's I was thinking the other day how much I talk to about my grandma. I don't talk about my papa because he passed away 5 years ago, but I am going to talk about him today. Most women are a momma's girl or a daddy's girl. I was pretty in between the two at times I was closer to my mom and others I was closer to my dad. I think it would depend on what was going on in my life at the time.. I have always been a "papa's girl" Technically I was the oldest grandchild and I think from the world go my papa and I just had a bond. When I was little I had horrible ear-infections and when my parents were on the brink of insanity from my crying, papa would come in and save the day. No mater what time 10pm, 12am he was there to take me on a drive to put me to sleep. When you opened his wallet there was one of those accordion plastic photo albums and almost every single slot had a picture of me. When I wanted a dog, papa surprised us with a dog, daisy that he had rescued from somewhere.

I remember one time I was probably 10, just the two of us went to Kansas to visit my cousins. He had a blue chevy truck and a camper shell over it. He knew how much I liked to read so he took the eggshells off one of the beds and laid it out in the back of the truck and then made me a little bed to lay in the back of the truck and read. He kept the little window in the truck open so the air from the front would get to me in the back. Then we got lost, ended up in Illinois or something like that. He was stressed grandma would be mad so he made me call her from a pay phone to tell her.

When he started getting sick I was in college. When I would come home from school on the weekend's to visit them was the first place I would stop when I got in town. The first spell he had I was at my friend Carly's house. My grandma called me in a panic and told me to come right over. She said he was delirious, when I walked in the house and he couldn't register that I was there my grandma knew something was bad wrong, she called 911 right away.
The only letter he ever wrote he wrote to me to tell me how much he loved me and how proud of me he was. I still have it and tear up when I read it.
When I moved to Dallas after college it absolutely drove him crazy. He was so stressed. I remember coming home to break the news that I was engaged. He looked at me, looked at my hand, and frowned.

"Babe, I would have bought you diamonds if you would have asked. What do you have to leave and get married for?"

It was a Sunday morning and I was supposed to work at Bath and Body Works. I was going home the following weekend for our friends Wade and Kelly's wedding.

It was still dark outside and my phone kept ringing. At first I remember being annoyed at my dad for calling so early. Then the calls kept coming. I think subconsciously I knew and didn't want to accept it. Then came a hard knock on my apt door. When I got up to go to the door I knew. I had an nauseating feeling in my stomach.

When Kelly told me I think I really did black out because I don't remember much of the morning. I do remember going in to the closet laying on the floor and just sobbing.
He called BBW and talked to my other co-manager and told her what happened. She was so great, she told him they would cover me for the whole week for bereavement. She knew how close I was to him and what a basket case I would be. I am still so thankful for her doing that. Not many places will just hand you over a week for a death.

Kelly took the week off of work also and we headed to Bentonville. I wanted to drive. I wanted to think, to process the situation. I drove 6 hours listening to the radio not saying a word.

When I pulled up to my grandparents house I literally crawled out of the car and sat at the foot of the yard crying so hard I couldn't breathe. I couldn't tell you much about the rest of the week. Kelly fielded calls from friends who heard and were worried, but mentally there was no way I could have talked to them. I was almost in a comatose zombie state. My mom took me to get a black dress and to this day it has been worn once.

I loved that man so much and it still hurts, but I am so thankful that I spent the time with him, I am thankful for the bond that we had that no one else did. I will never look back and wish that I would have spent more time with him, because I know that I spent time with him as often as I could.

Now it has been 5 years and my grandma is getting older. I pray for her constantly. Since my papa passed we have become even closer. She is so excited that I am learning to sew and has been giving me bits and pieces of her sewing collection each time I come over.

So tonight the pressure is on for jenni mccarthy and I at the sewing party. Grandma is very excited to see my apron that we are making at the party tonight.

Would you think me terrible if I stole Aunt Jemmima's?
Sorry for the debbie downer post today. It was on my mind.
We did however go to the bookstore today. OH my goodness, the store goes on and on for days. I didn't buy anything though. I think I was a little overwhelmed!


1 comment:

erin f. said...

This just made me is a blessing to have a grandfather that you could be that close too. Both of mine died when I was in grade school and I really don't remember either of them that well, but I love to hear my parents stories about them.